The body

American anthropology, specially medical anthropology seems to conceptualize the body in ways that it makes it a medium and point of convergence where experience takes place. Pain, suffering and illness all take central stage on the body, even though experience transcends it more than often. I would imagine that is especially particular to illness and our relationships with our health systems.

What makes even more interesting, is that anthropology has brought back historic notions of the body to IT; I mean, through critical analysis of social and cultural theory, the discipline has been able to bring back the factors and variables that many seem to ignore about the body and experience that deal with the body.

We forget that the body has a history and through it, has had different conceptualizations of it. The body of yesteryear is nothing like the body of nowadays. Sexuality, gender, age, aesthetics, desirability, all take place somewhat around the body, but it doesn't stop there; there is a continuum that seeks to expand the body and invade sociality and collective experience.

I was just thinking about this as I just completed my first week keeping a food diary, as I'm trying to lose weight, and I already lost 3 pounds.

P.S. Some of what I wrote is heavily influenced on a lot of Medical Anthropology literature. I don't take credit for being original about this, just theorizing...
P.S.S Main credits of influence go to Nancy Scheper-Hughes, Byron Good, Veena Das, Margaret Lock and Donna Haraway

Ingléñol (Cause I'm $%^& tired that Spanglish itself is a word in English)

English is retarded. Now, calm down, I don’t mean this in like: “ omg, that is so retarded” or “that’s gay”

More like, I truly believe english is a bit behind than some of its counterparts. And like a truly developmental linguistic disability, English is not dysfunctional, quite the opposite; but when you compare it to its sexy romance language cousins, English looks like a hipster in Columbia Heights, trying to not be mainstream on purpose and gentrifying everything around him/her.

Being bilingual...it sucks having to try to translate shit all the time. English as a second language, works as an excuse in class where you mess up words and pronunciations all the time... it also works when you just said something and everyone is looking at each other not knowing what the guy with the indecipherable (indecipherable in the way, they don’t know where in the world to place me) accent just said...basically, when you don’t know what the fuck you just said, you go into cute mode and utter: “but I don’t know, English is just my second language”.

And Bam, you just showed everyone that you’re slightly superior to them in a very backhanded way. It’s a nice way of saying: “I’m sorry stupid American, how many languages can you speak? Yeah, I thought so” SPANISH, ENGLISH, ITALIAN BITCH! and sometimes I lie and say that I know a bit of french, german, portuguese but who the fuck is going to challenge me at this point. But I digress...

I don’t mean to put down english completely. I know there is some beauty in it, but I’m slightly biased because I come from the marble-floors of the romance languages. I mean, they are called romance languages!!! English is a germanic language? right! Sorry guys, it just doesn’t sound sexy. But thing is that there are some things that will never translate. And those are some motherfucking roadblocks when you are trying to say something to others, and it just doesn’t come out. As an anthropologist, I bore everyone when trying to give them a proper context of where the concept I’m trying to properly say 'works' and how it came about. But sorry David, not everyone is interested in the etymology of why we call oranges “Chinas”. So there are feelings that will never translate, and some time ago I just gave up and started using English feelings with my  American friends.

There’s nothing like saying “Papi” to your father in any age in english without sounding pervy, like a child or just plain weird. Cause a 26 year old man calling his father daddy in english just isn’t right. Same thing with "Mami".

“Te quiero”... there’s no word or sentence in English that expresses this loving feeling of longing, caring and plain neediness that is less than “Te Amo” (I love you) but more important than I just like you. The closest thing is I like you...but, wtf I like you honey,but I also like hamburguerz. LOLZ 

I’m stuck between two different worldviews of feelings and translations. 

English get it together, you’re a globalized language.

Academia

Earlier today I felt like a failure, cause I compared myself to my more successful peers and felt short in my academic success. My coworker and friend told me that "that is such a pisces thing to do and more if you obsess about it" (she is a pisces too). For a while I was distraught. To be honest, this has been a tough year in my studies; mainly because I've been slacking off, my job is XXXL stressful (which shouldn't be, but...) and I haven't been on point this last year.

I guess that is one thing that often happens in academia: not everything goes your way or according to plan. Sometimes you get rejected from funding opportunities (3 times); sometimes you don't win the poster competition; sometimes you don't win the presentation competition; sometimes your pre-dissertation research doesn't take off; sometimes you get shitty results from your comprehensive exams; sometimes your boyfriend (who you are living with) gets the grant that you both applied to and you get an honorable mention; sometimes you break up with said boyfriend 3 weeks before your comprehensive exams and 2 weeks before you graduation and your-whole-family-is-coming-to-visit-for-graduation-and-to-meet-the-first-boy-you-are-living-with-and-you-don't-have-the-guts-to-tell-them-you've-broken-up... I always thought that I had everything figured out and that by know I will be on my way to finishing my exams and starting my fieldwork in my 4th year. Reality is way off.

I always sorta knew that great thinkers were drug users, alcoholics and so on, because they were so burdened with the reality and post-reality in which they lived and tried to interpret. Faith and conformity were not tools that they used for said purposes. Following this rationale, I went on a bender by which I lived life to the fullest and enjoyed myself. I embraced more my queer identity and started to go out and be out! I cared less about tomorrow and more about now. I had copious amount of sex, drank and "pained the fuck away"...I'm not ready to give all of this yet, but my resolve to do my degree is still there.

I love doing research; I love doing interviews; I love anthropology...yet, I'm burned out.

Not everything has been bad. I went to Mexico for a conference with my friends, and in the words of a friend who went with me "I have never seen you this happy"...How can you not be happy when swimming in a Cenote? It's just magical. I've also become closer with friends here; I even made new ones! This place is more like a home now than it was before. I have a great support system and people who love me.

I am involved with my community in the university; and while sometimes these commitments take time away from me, I am deeply satisfied working (even if it's in minute and small ways) towards the betterment of graduate student life in general and my anthropology classmates. So, my friend and coworker reminded me that indeed we have to remind ourselves of what we actually do and not minimize it. While i'm not going to list stuff that I do, I know that I do (and have done) a lot; though all that community service does not count for my academia cred.

Not everything goes according to plan. I need to keep on learning on how to accept unsystematic changes and deviations to plan and just work with it. Regardless of how horrible this last year has been.

*Le sigh for Academia*