Writer's Block

The concept of writer’s block apparently came up in the 19th century in the romantic era in which literature, poetry and writing were activities that were considered as the result of passions; it could not be forced. The persons who dedicated their lives to such endeavors, were people that were 'skillful' in inciting their own emotions and passions by reeling in 'inspiration'.

As a student, trying to come up with coherent thoughts is hard enough, so I can't imagine what these artists where putting themselves through. They were perfectionists, but did so in their desire of fulfilling the purism expected of the time; a self-imposed purism based on the canons of good writing and the emotions stirred by art.

How hard is it when you think your life depends on your writing skills and you feel what you are producing is not good enough? When you are stuck and rightfully despair into doubt and preoccupation about your work, what should one do? Is it art what students do? I don't consider myself an artist for doing so, but as students we are expected to convey complex 'thoughts' and 'ideas' in a constrained and different language than the one we communicate every day. I bet that those of us who do a better job at this could be considered true artists as they convey 'thoughts' and 'ideas' to others; and by doing so, engage in dialogues that most often than not, stir emotional responses among us (or our professors).


I started this blog to practice my writing skills for my current and future academic life, but a lot of times I think of topics that I wish to elaborate on and fall short of elaborating them for fear that they might not be interesting enough. I think I'm still trying to find a style that suits me. So, I feel I should be writing something for the sake of practicing even though I feel blocked.



In reference to the New Yorker Magazine article: Blocked: Why do writers stop writing.

Learning to let go...

So, in order to move past the emotional circumstances that we go through, most of us need to learn to disassociate ourselves with the things that tie us down to those circumstances. I assume that these are distressful, because then there might not be a logical reason as to why one is leaving these experiences behind. Why do we attach ourselves to other people the way we do? Is this necessary at all? Is this behavior evolutionary? Well, in regards to this last question it appears so.

 At its core, it seems that attachment is the sense of security that we are offered as we are socialized. Maybe it brings us further close to the core belief that we live in fair world where all of us deserve to attain what we were taught that we would obtain; family, friends, romantic love, sex, etc... Such is this belief that if we follow the rules, then we will be 'all right'; which also means that if these goals are not attained some rule (and probably your fault anyway) was not followed as prescribed. Social variables aside, what is the existential need for attachment?

 I speculate that we attach to each other to continue this sense of security going on. Important enough that a ‘human need’ for continuity in our daily lives is somewhat expected. We invest more resources on those things that we expect to deal with tomorrow, and brush aside and/or give little importance to the passing ones. Is there spontaneity in this attachment then? Maybe so, but the expectation that everything in the world is fair and all the efforts that we have invested in this other person will pay off somehow, is what makes us latch on like remoras. The end result is emotional, physical, sexual, economic and/or social rewards that positively condition these attachments. What happens then when the sharks wants to set loose? 



Why is it so horrible to realize that the other half of the symbiotic attachment is not there anymore? Rationally, one can give many reasons to explain such an event, but in terms of emotions your body and mind is trying to do you a favor by trying to die honorably at these new unfolding events...a Divine Wind;Kamikaze. The outside world is trying to pull you back in to their belief of a Fair and Just World, one in which the separation or death of this relationship does not equate physical, actual, social, literal death. But your emotions ‘know’ that with this death, there is no rebirth of the efforts that you invested; there is no change, no surplus...most (if not everything) of it is now lost! While some might dwell on what they have lost, others seek to provide themselves with a new outlook that presents them with a congruent and normal fair view of the world. "Why did this happen anyway? I followed all the rules, right? Why didn’t the other person follow them as closely as I did?" Such is life...right?

But we do that. We fail to follow the ‘rules’, we die, they die, we change, they change, he did it, she did it...did I do it too? The hard part is not the 'getting attached to others' (although some of us might argue just that) but learning to let go all that you invested...and it’s hard...totally hard! right?

1. Can you actually let go of people that died?
2. Can you let go of friends that are now toxic, but they are still your friends? “They were part of your life man!”
3. Can you let go of your romantic other? Your ‘soulmate’? Your husband? Wife? Etc?

How do we unlearn the attachment and truly let go? If we do so, are we kidding ourselves?

The existential despair of a Soccer Star

[Edit: This is not a great post, is full of grammatical mistakes but I don't want to touch on this topic any further but I still think there is something here to be discussed.]

I don't mean to be dismissing on another person's despair or sadness. But I just want to put it in perspective.

Yahoo Sports posted this online yesterday:

The existential despair of Cristiano Ronaldo

By Brian Phillips

The article blows out of proportion what Cristiano actually says. He just mentions his sadness at losing (something easily understandable at such a big and prominent event) and the article that actually mentions he being a 'broken man' is a link to a BBC interview with him. My first take on this is of disgust... my biases all seem to overtake me on this one, because he is just a month older than I am, has a better body and is on the face of the media constantly; something very much like the green eyed monster. To be honest, not that I want all that pressure on me, and that's why I shift from disgust to empathy on this issue. Though he will provoke little empathy from a lot of people (for being a model, a famous athlete, etc) he still is in a career that puts a lot of pressure on the him.

At the same time, I don't want to commit the same mistake my therapist did with me by saying: "Why would someone as successful as you, who obtained an all expense paid research experience to Cornell for the summer ever think that way about himself?" (This was at a time when I was feeling a bit sad). He still has the right to be "broken" by this event but he will be fine sometime soon when he gets back to the rhythm of things (I think). Anyway, to think about this and all the crap we grad students receive I'll share a Facebook status that I posted yesterday when I heard of these news:

"The existential despair of Ronaldo? Really yahoo sports? I mean existential? Just because his pretty face failed to qualify for the next round? When is Yahoo news going to do an article of the emotional despair of graduates students? i.e. getting rejected by grad school, getting rejected by grants/fellowships/funding, ...getting grilled on by how bad you write, receiving critiques that make you feel mediocre, never being good enough to your superiors in Academia, living on scrap money... how is that not existential despair? stupid stupid news"

Discuss