English is retarded. Now, calm down, I don’t mean this in like: “ omg, that is so retarded” or “that’s gay”
More like, I truly believe english is a bit behind than some of its counterparts. And like a truly developmental linguistic disability, English is not dysfunctional, quite the opposite; but when you compare it to its sexy romance language cousins, English looks like a hipster in Columbia Heights, trying to not be mainstream on purpose and gentrifying everything around him/her.
Being bilingual...it sucks having to try to translate shit all the time. English as a second language, works as an excuse in class where you mess up words and pronunciations all the time... it also works when you just said something and everyone is looking at each other not knowing what the guy with the indecipherable (indecipherable in the way, they don’t know where in the world to place me) accent just said...basically, when you don’t know what the fuck you just said, you go into cute mode and utter: “but I don’t know, English is just my second language”.
And Bam, you just showed everyone that you’re slightly superior to them in a very backhanded way. It’s a nice way of saying: “I’m sorry stupid American, how many languages can you speak? Yeah, I thought so” SPANISH, ENGLISH, ITALIAN BITCH! and sometimes I lie and say that I know a bit of french, german, portuguese but who the fuck is going to challenge me at this point. But I digress...
I don’t mean to put down english completely. I know there is some beauty in it, but I’m slightly biased because I come from the marble-floors of the romance languages. I mean, they are called romance languages!!! English is a germanic language? right! Sorry guys, it just doesn’t sound sexy. But thing is that there are some things that will never translate. And those are some motherfucking roadblocks when you are trying to say something to others, and it just doesn’t come out. As an anthropologist, I bore everyone when trying to give them a proper context of where the concept I’m trying to properly say 'works' and how it came about. But sorry David, not everyone is interested in the etymology of why we call oranges “Chinas”. So there are feelings that will never translate, and some time ago I just gave up and started using English feelings with my American friends.
There’s nothing like saying “Papi” to your father in any age in english without sounding pervy, like a child or just plain weird. Cause a 26 year old man calling his father daddy in english just isn’t right. Same thing with "Mami".
“Te quiero”... there’s no word or sentence in English that expresses this loving feeling of longing, caring and plain neediness that is less than “Te Amo” (I love you) but more important than I just like you. The closest thing is I like you...but, wtf I like you honey,but I also like hamburguerz. LOLZ
I’m stuck between two different worldviews of feelings and translations.
English get it together, you’re a globalized language.
No comments:
Post a Comment